What to write to your girlfriend when nothing sounds right

The test that fixes almost everything

Read your line back and ask: could I send this, word for word, to someone else I once liked? If yes, rewrite it.

'You mean the world to me' passes to anyone. 'You get annoyed at films for being unrealistic and then cry at the adverts' passes to exactly one person.

Specific is not the same as clever. You are not trying to write well. You are trying to prove you were paying attention.

Where to find the specific thing

Look at your camera roll, not your feelings. Photos have dates and places attached and will remind you of evenings you had genuinely forgotten.

Scroll your chat back six months. The running jokes are right there, already written down, already funny to both of you.

Think about a Tuesday. Anniversaries and holidays are easy; the ordinary days are where the real evidence is.

Lines that tend to land

Something you noticed that she does not know you noticed.

A thing you were wrong about, and she was right about.

The moment you realised, told plainly, without building it up.

One small thing you would keep if you could only keep one.

A promise small enough that you will actually keep it.

Lines to cut

Anything beginning 'words cannot describe'. They can; that is what they are for.

Comparisons to the moon, the stars, or the ocean.

Lists of adjectives. Beautiful, kind, funny, caring — true of thousands of people.

Anything you found on the internet, including the good ones. She can search too.

How long it should be

Shorter than you think. Four or five real lines beat four paragraphs, because she will finish four lines and mean to come back to the paragraphs.

If you have a lot to say, put it in a page rather than a message — broken into sections with photos between, so it is read in pieces instead of skimmed in one.